20 ways to leave your gluten

with apologies to Paul Simon


"Oh yes, Mr Celiac disease. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a bowel biopsy."
“Oh yes, Mr Celiac disease. I’m terrible with faces but I never forget a bowel biopsy.”


The problem’s all inside your gut
doc said to me
The answer isn’t easy
and a pill won’t make you free
I’d like to help you with your struggle
eating wheat
There must be twenty ways
To leave your gluten

He said it really is your body mounting an attack,
furthermore you tested positive for IGA and celiac
and I’ll repeat myself, at the risk you won’t come back
there must be twenty ways to leave your gluten

Just eat some brown rice, Tice
make a new flan, Jan
you’ll have to eat soy, Joy
Now listen to me
Just don’t make a fuss, Russ
this plan might disgust much
Non-gluten’s the key, Rhea
Just eat yourself free

He said to me it hurts me so
to see you in such pain
You might hate it but this diet
will make you smile again
I said, I appreciate that, and would you please explain
again about the 20 ways…

He said, why don’t you just think on it tonight
and in the morning when you eat your gluten free
chex you’ll seem all right
And then he billed me, and I realized
I was in for quite a fight
trying out the twenty way to leave my gluten

I’ll eat some brown rice, twice
I’ll make a new flan, man
I’ll have to eat soy,  joy!
I’ll just wait and see
I won’t make a fuss, plus
I’ll try not to cuss much
Non-gluten’s for me, gee
I’ll eat myself free



















6 Comments Add yours

  1. Jessica Adam says:

    That is FABULOUS!!!!!


    1. glutenfreelady says:

      Thanks Jessica. My first attempt at parody.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jessica Adam says:

        Is it on your Fb page? Id love to share it with my GF friends!


      2. Jessica Adam says:

        Found and shared! 🙂


      3. glutenfreelady says:

        Thanks Jessica!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Jessica Adam says:

        You’re welcome!


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